


A Light in the Darkness

by Moons_of_Avalon



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Intersex Loki, M/M, Mpreg, Post Mpreg, Post-Avengers (2012), Pseudo-Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-25
Updated: 2014-07-25
Packaged: 2018-02-10 09:04:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2019147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moons_of_Avalon/pseuds/Moons_of_Avalon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki has been imprisoned as punishment for his crimes on Midgard and for many months he sees nothing of his estranged brother, Thor. When the two finally encounter each other again, all the tension that has been building up between them comes to a head, leading to consequences neither of them could have ever imagined.</p><p>*Also posted on Fanfiction.net*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Twist of Fate

Chapter 1

A Twist of Fate

Loki heard Thor coming long before he could ever see the man. He knew those footsteps well. Loud, sure, and oddly slow. Thor never hurried anywhere unless he was truly enraged, but from what Loki could discern Thor was merely hesitant at that moment, bordering on nervous, as if with every step he took forward he reconsidered turning back. The hallway that led to his prison cell was long and silent, since he'd been kept away from the other prisoners, so Loki had a long time to appreciate the tentative steps. He allowed himself a smirk when the footsteps came to a stop, and he opened his eyes, watching the ceiling as he reclined on his bed.

"Hello, brother."

"Hello." Loki cocked an eyebrow at the curt response.

"Why are you here, Thor?"

"It has been far too long since we last spoke." Thor's voice was harsh, reinforcing the blunt words. "I thought it only right to come see you,"

"And what makes you think I have any interest in seeing you?" Loki asked as he rolled onto his stomach, sending Thor a disapproving look. "Actually, forget I asked. You've always been optimistic to a fault."

"And you've always had a sharp tongue," Thor smiled sadly. "But never have you been cruel."

Loki scoffed. "If that could strike you as cruel then you have become softer than I would have ever expected."

Thor sighed. "Why have you come to hate me, brother?"

Loki frowned. Because you have everything I will never possess, and you don't even deserve it. Because you are everything the prince, no the king now, of Asgard should be, without even trying. Because the nine realms revere you blindly, and I have had to fight for every ounce of recognition I've gotten, only to be rewarded with a cage while you were given a throne. Because no matter how much I hate you, my love for you has never wavered… "Why do you care?" he hissed.

"Because whether you choose to believe it or not, I still care about you," Thor stepped closer to the cell's barrier. "I don't know what I have done to deserve your hatred, but whatever it is I will do anything to remedy it."

"You…don't…know." Loki repeated the words slowly, rolling them off his tongue. He tipped his head to the side, regarding Thor coldly. "Whatever will this realm do with a fool like you as king? Your father may have made the occasional poor decision, but at least he had some common sense."

Thor's expression hardened instantly at that and Loki felt a thrill rush through him. He loved manipulating Thor, enraging him. And he needed a little fresh entertainment.

"Oh, is that still a sensitive subject?" he asked, his voice saccharine. "What's it been, two months since the Allfather finally left us?"

"That is enough, Loki." Thor growled. Loki smirked.

"Is that why you came all the way down here to see me, Thor?" He stood and started walking towards Thor slowly. "Did you wish to mourn the death of the man you call our father?" He stopped right in front of the barrier, relishing the fact that Thor had to look up at him. "Well I don't share your grief." What made it even better was that Thor couldn't deny he was right.

"Why do you insist on taunting me, brother?" Well that was disappointing. Loki rolled his eyes as he turned away. He hated how composed Thor was these days.

"Because you make it far too easy," he sighed. He crossed the cell, picking up a glass of water and sipping at it, while ignoring the tray of food that had been brought for him. He barely ate these days. Didn't see the appeal. Loki threw a look over his shoulder when he heard the now familiar sound of an opening forming in the barrier. Before Loki had time to speak, Thor had crossed the cell and grabbed Loki's arm to spin him around. He glared at the man as his cup clattered to the floor.

"You're awfully trusting," Loki sneered. "Storming in here like this. Do you really think I'll just let you walk out?"

"And what could you do to me in here?"

Loki frowned, hating that Thor had a point. He couldn't attack him. The cell's barrier dampened his magic significantly, and even with his complete concentration any power he could muster was indiscriminate; he was as likely to harm himself as he was to harm Thor.

"I don't need weapons or magic to hurt you," he warned, though it was hollow. "You still haven't given a good reason for being here." He ripped his arm out Thor's grasp. "Shouldn't you be off with your Midgardian whore? The bifrost has long since been repaired."

"Jane Foster is not my whore," Thor frowned. "And if I had any interest in seeing her, I would be there now, not here."

Loki raised an eyebrow. "Oh, is that the kind of companionship you seek from me, Thor?" He smirked when Thor glared at him.

"Don't be vulgar. We're brothers." Thor's words came out a little too slow, a little too convincing, as though it were meant as much for himself as it was for Loki.

"Not really," Loki purred. He stepped closer to Thor so there was barely an inch between them. "Not through blood."

"We were raised as brothers," Thor insisted. "That is what matters." He tried to step back but Loki only followed, staying just as close. "Loki, that is enough!"

"Is it? Because I thought we had only just begun." Loki smirked. It had been awhile since he'd had this much fun. He placed his hands on Thor's chest, slowly sliding them up too his shoulders as he pressed closer.

Loki winced when he was suddenly slammed him against the wall, but kept his eyes on Thor's face. He was pinned, his arms above his head in Thor's firm grasp. There was no fighting his way out, but he wanted to see just how far he could push Thor. He smirked when he saw that the blond seemed just as surprised by his own actions as Loki had been.

"So what are your intentions for me, Thor?" he purred, and they were close enough that when Loki tipped his head, inviting, their noses brushed together. Thor flinched back but tightened his grip on Loki's arms. "What are you going to do with your little brother?"

"Shut up…" Thor murmured, but Loki only laughed.

"Are you really so perverted?" he leaned in close enough to brush their lips together as he spoke and raised an eyebrow when Thor didn't pull away. "The king of Asgard wants his own brother so badly."

"I said shut up!" Thor growled the words this time, slamming Loki back against the wall and holding him down firmly. Loki allowed himself to be pinned but still smirked at Thor. He chuckled softly.

"Make me."

Thor growled again low in his throat, deep and loud, sending a shiver throughout Loki's body as he watched Thor's control snap. Within moments Thor's mouth was on his, rough, demanding, and Loki gave over easily, matching every ounce of Thor's passion. He gasped when Thor bit his lip, taking it in his mouth and sucking the tender skin. Loki smiled at the idea that it might bruise. He arched against Thor, straining against the arms that pinned him down, and let out a moan, just to see how the blond would react. He certainly wasn't disappointed. Thor groaned and grabbed Loki by the waist, lifting him up the wall and slamming him there again. Loki managed to wrap his legs around Thor's hips and his arms around his neck, pulling him closer so their bodies collided flush against each other. He moaned again, more softly this time and more genuinely as he felt Thor hot between his legs, though the sound was muffled by Thor's lips on his once again and the slick, insistent tongue that forced itself into his mouth. Loki accepted Thor's tongue with his own, sliding them against one another as he moved his hands up to grip Thor's hair, pulling as he tangled his fingers in it. Thor groaned, obviously appreciative, and finally pulled away from Loki's mouth and moved to his neck, leaving kisses and bites in equal measure. Loki moaned, his lips right next to Thor's ear to make sure the man heard every sound.

"So this is what the mighty Thor desires," he purred, though it was followed by a sharp cry when Thor bit down hard into his neck.

"I thought I told you to shut up."

"I thought I told you to make me." Thor pulled back to glare at Loki, who only smirked in return. "There are many uses for my silver tongue," he smiled, arching to grind himself against Thor.

Thor groaned under his breath before gripping the front of Loki's shirt and ripping it in half. "You fucking minx," he growled, pushing Loki to his knees.

Loki went willingly, though he felt the familiar surge of anxiety as his shirt slipped down his arms and to the floor. He was always careful about whom he showed his body to, careful about hiding himself, though that was hardly necessary with Thor. They had seen each other in every state of undress possible. He smirked as he watched Thor pull his own shirt off and grabbed the hem of his pants to tug him closer and nip at the skin just below Thor's navel. He flicked his eyes up to Thor's face as he moved his mouth lower, pressing a kiss to Thor's hard length, hot against his lips even through the pants. When he felt Thor's hand in his hair, Loki smirked, taking the tie at the top of Thor's pants with his teeth and pulling it undone. He quickly moved the fabric out of the way and pulled out Thor's length, quirking an eyebrow as he looked over it appreciatively.

"Impressive," he smiled before leaning closer to lick slowly from base to tip, keeping his eyes on Thor's. The taller man groaned, tightening his grip on Loki's hair.

"And what do you have to compare it with?"

Loki smirked, stroking Thor slowly. "I don't tell you about all of my escapades, Thor. But there's no need for comparison. In this area, you are foremost without a doubt." Which was true, Thor was easily the biggest Loki had ever seen, though he would have said it regardless just to see Thor's prideful smirk.

"My shy little brother," he chuckled as he ran his hand through Loki's hair. "What have you been getting in to?"

"I am not so shy, brother. I 'get in to' everything I can," Loki teased, pouting a little to give his face an air of innocence. "Would you like me to show you what I've learned?"

"By all means," Thor smiled back, pulling on Loki's hair a little where he was holding it. Loki grinned and didn't need further encouraging. He leaned in closer and licked Thor's entire length slowly, then again, letting his eyes close. He just barely opened them as he flicked his tongue around the tip, teasing, before taking it in his mouth. He stayed with just the tip for a while, stroking the rest with his hand as he sucked and licked, letting his saliva slide down the length.

Gradually he took more in, eventually dropping his hands to Thor's legs. He couldn't take the whole length without gagging, but he managed most of it, sucking firmly as he moved up and down. He was grateful that Thor was holding his hair back, as it would have only gotten in his way. He hummed, almost a moan, when he felt Thor roll his hips to start thrusting slowly into his mouth. Loki closed his eyes, easily accepting each of Thor's thrusts. He enjoyed this far more than he would ever admit, the weight and heat against his tongue, and the slight pain whenever the back of his throat was hit. Thor wasn't rough, but with all that strength Loki knew it was possible. He could feel the tension in the man's legs and felt himself harden more at the thought that Thor was just barely restraining himself.

Eager for more, Loki flicked his gaze up to Thor's before forcing himself to relax and pushing down until his nose met skin, taking all of the man's length in one movement. He held himself there for a few moments, relishing the deep groan it pulled from Thor and the heady feeling of being filled like that, before pulling back completely. He was panting, but managed a small smile as he looked up at Thor.

"Enjoying yourself?" he teased as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, trying to remove some of the saliva that had smeared around his mouth. He knew he must have looked a mess, but Thor was hardly complaining.

"I'm not the only one," Thor nodded to the obvious, straining erection in Loki's pants. "Are you getting wet for me, brother?" And Loki barely held back a moan, if only because no one had ever said that to him before, but he'd always wanted to hear it.

"Yes," he breathed. Before he could say anything else Thor had picked him up and tossed him onto the bed, and was very nearly ripping off the rest of Loki's clothing. Loki allowed himself a giggle as he helped Thor by kicking off his pants, though he quickly pulled his knees up to cover himself, even as he relaxed back on the bed.

"You too," he smirked, watching silently as Thor stood over him and began to remove his remaining clothes. Loki hadn't expected to be nervous, but this was the first time anyone would see him completely. He'd always used illusions to make himself seem normal and male. Frankly, Loki was shocked by Thor's apparent interest in his body. He smiled when he felt a large, warm hand on his knee, nudging his legs apart, and he let them fall open, keeping his eyes on Thor's face. Though he searched for any sign of hesitancy, he was amazed to find none as Thor moved to kneel over him. Loki shivered lightly as Thor's fingers trailed down his inner thigh, pausing for just a moment, and then he moaned as Thor pushed two fingers into his core. Obviously, Thor knew exactly what he was doing as he moved his fingers in and out slowly, curling them just enough to rub against the sensitive place inside. Loki smiled lazily at Thor's expression, which could only be described as enraptured, through his soft moaning .

"You've thought of me like this, haven't you?"

"You are more than anything I could have imagined." Loki chuckled, letting the flattery wash over him.

"I would have expected you to be more eager to be inside me."

"What makes you think I am not?"

"You're taking an awfully long time to get around to it." Loki's teasing was almost accusatory, but he smirked as it got him what he wanted. Thor pulled his fingers out slowly, and Loki felt his body clench around their absence, even as Thor moved over him and kissed him with surprising gentleness. Loki responded with a bite to Thor's lower lip as he slid his arms around the man's neck. He had felt Thor settle between his legs, but even so he wasn't quite expecting it when Thor thrust in without warning. Nor was he expecting the pain that came with it.

Loki cried out, though it quickly faded into a whimper as he bit down on his own lip, having torn away from the kiss. The burning stretch was intense to say the least, and his body trembled, caught between whether to accept the intrusion or push away.

"Loki…?" Loki forced his eyes open to look up at Thor.

"Don't move," he said softly. He didn't want Thor to go, but there would only be pain if he tried to continue now.

Thor nodded, though it wasn't easy to restrain himself. "It's just been a while for you, hasn't it?"

"Not exactly," Loki sighed, and continued on before Thor could ask. "Before this, I was the only person to have ever touched myself there. I hid it from all others. It was easier than trying to explain."

"Of course," Thor nodded again. "So, I am…?"

"Like this, yes, you are my first." Loki laughed softly, shaking his head. "And you're a hell of a first to have." Thor looked a little embarrassed and Loki sighed as he pulled him down for a kiss. It was easier to ignore the discomfort when he distracted himself. "It's alright, I'm not complaining. Just give me a few moments."

"Whatever you need." Loki smiled at the words and at the feeling when Thor started stroking his side, from just above his waist down his thigh and back up. He pulled Thor into another kiss and let the man lead with all the tenderness he could ask for. He sighed when the tip of Thor's tongue ran over his lips and parted them just enough to slip his own tongue out to meet Thor's, brushing them together teasingly before allowing entrance. He moaned as Thor explored his mouth slowly, diligently even, and arched up as those strong arms wrapped around him, pressing their bodies close together.

Loki gasped when he felt Thor roll his hips, rocking their bodies back and forth. The movement inside Loki was slight, but it seemed Thor had found just the perfect fit, and each shallow thrust sent shivers throughout Loki's body. He moaned against Thor's lips and pushed back against him.

"More," he murmured, and when Thor thrust deeper it took his breath away. He gripped Thor's shoulders, letting his head fall back as he gasped and moaned. It had never been like this. When he felt Thor's lips on his neck, he tangled his fingers in that blond hair, holding him close so he could hear every sound that Thor made.

And just like that they were no longer simply having sex, they were making love. It happened more naturally than anything ever had. Thor's touches were so gentle now, more gentle than Loki would have thought possible, more gentle than anything Loki had felt before. The way Thor stroked his body and held him close as they moved together, gradually building, was almost reverent, as were the whispered words of praise, nearly drowned out as Loki's moans echoed off the walls. And Loki relished, cherished, every moment. He needed this. The gentleness, the tenderness, the…

Loki cried out when he finally came, locking his legs around Thor's hips as his body tensed and then released. He clung to Thor desperately, their lips brushing together just barely until Loki dropped his head back, panting hard. He looked up at Thor, watching the tension on man's face. Loki ran his hands slowly through Thor's hair, tugging lightly, then pulled the man closer and kissed him. Moments later he felt Thor release inside him with a groan, and moaned softly in reply, intensely aware of every sensation between them.

They were quiet for a long time, simply listening to each other's breathing, feeling it against their lips as their foreheads rested together. Still wrapped in Thor's arms, Loki had never felt so protected, warm and safe. It was too good to be true, to last…

"Are you alright?" Thor's voice was soft, and Loki felt the man move a few dark strands of hair out of his way. He sighed before opening his eyes, gazing up at Thor. The blissful glow of pleasure was giving way to reality, and a dull lethargy followed in its wake.

"You'll be leaving now, won't you?" Thor seemed almost shaken by the bluntness.

"Only because I have to," he said quickly, "not because I desire it."

"And what do you desire?"

"To be here with you, of course."

"The king of Asgard desires to be in a prison cell," Loki muttered as he sat up, forcing Thor to move back as well. Only now did he realize how silly they looked crammed onto the small bed. "What does that say about our realm?" Thor shook his head.

"You twist my words, as ever."

"Only because you leave them so vulnerable to twisting."

Thor sighed. "You've always been the clever one."

"One of us has to be." There was a pause before they both smiled, and Thor leaned in to kiss Loki. Loki chuckled softly before kissing back, resting his hand on Thor's neck.

"Do I have your permission to come back and visit you again?"

"Does the king need permission to visit a prisoner?"

"Well no," Thor shrugged. "But I want it from you. You could very easily reject me the next time."

"I could…" Loki appeared to consider the idea before smiling. "But I won't. Quite honestly…" his smile turned to a smirk as he slowly trailed a finger down Thor's chest. "I would be insulted if you didn't come back for more."

"And we can't have that," Thor smiled back, catching Loki's hand with his own and kissing it lightly.

"No, you really can't afford to have that." They both laughed, and Thor sighed before standing up to dress. Loki leaned against the wall, curled up in the blanket as he watched him.

"Are you just going to stare?" Thor asked.

"Well, as much as I preferred watching the clothes come off, you must admit, you're quite the spectacle either way." Thor chuckled, almost shyly.

"I meant are you going to get dressed?"

"It's not like I have anywhere to go," Loki shrugged, then sighed dramatically. "Besides, I'd have to go all the way across the room to get new clothes, since you ripped the ones I was wearing." The surprised glance Thor cast at the discarded clothing made Loki laugh. "How could that possibly have escaped your notice?"

"I'm not sure," Thor shook his head. "Though you have always had your ways of distracting me."

Loki nodded, smiling contentedly. "Very true." Thor smiled back, and, to Loki's surprise, he crossed the room to the chest where Loki kept his clothes, taking out a shirt and pants and bringing them back to Loki, who smiled.

"I would have gotten them myself," he sighed as he laid the proffered clothes on the bed.

"Consider it compensation for tearing the others," Thor smiled, easily pulling Loki into his lap, blanket and all.

"They will be easy to repair," he murmured as he slipped his arms around Thor's neck, accepting the kiss when it came. He sighed softly as it ended. "Do you really intend to come back?"

"I do," Thor nodded. "If you'll have me."

Loki sighed again. His intellect was fighting his emotions full force. Where could this go? He was a criminal locked in a cage, and there was no getting out. The fact that he had suddenly become the king's paramour was not grounds for his release. But he needed so desperately to hope…

"Yes, I will have you," he whispered and at once Thor had pulled him into another kiss, holding him tightly. Loki gave himself over to it willingly, forgetting everything for just a moment. It felt good to forget and to just feel.

"I must go, people will begin to wonder where I am," Thor sighed.

"I know," Loki nodded, hesitantly moving off of Thor's lap. Thor stood, but leaned to cup Loki's face and kiss him one more time. Loki had to smile. "Be careful or I'll just end up keeping you here."

Thor laughed softly. "I think I'm in love with you."

Loki's eyes widened a little bit, but he just ended up shaking his head. "Thor…"

"You don't have to reply," Thor insisted, holding Loki's shoulders gently. "I just wanted you to know. I don't need an answer right away."

Loki sighed, oddly relieved. "Alright." He smiled, "Maybe when you return I'll have an answer for you." That probably wasn't true, but it made Thor smile.

"Then I'll be sure to hurry back." They shared a final kiss.

As Loki watched Thor walking away he could feel a dark pain burning in his heart, but tried to ignore it. At least this wasn't the last time.

xxxxxx

Thor returned to Loki's cell at least twice a week from then on, only staying long enough to exchange a few words in addition to their coupling before he would leave again. Loki had thought he could deal with it. With being used and left, used and left, over and over. It hadn't even felt like he was being used at first. He opened himself for Thor, allowed the man to take what he wanted, touched and kissed and pleasured him and allowed himself to be touched and kissed and pleasured in return. He allowed himself to hope, but then…

Hope had made the space in his heart, but only bitterness could grow in its place. As the weeks wore on, the kisses that had once smoldered and shimmered against his skin began to burn and cut all the way down to his soul, destroying him from the inside out, each one a promise of devotion and caring, broken the moment Thor stepped outside the cell.

Loki was lying on the bed when he heard Thor approaching, his back facing the man. He didn't look up when Thor sat next to him, nor when he felt a gentle kiss, painfully gentle, against his cheek.

"You enjoy having me like this, don't you?" he muttered, eyes locked on the wall.

"What do you mean?" Loki could hear the smile on Thor's face and it made his blood boil, as did the hand carding through his hair.

"Having me locked away." His voice was low, almost a growl as he ripped away from Thor, crossing the cell and glaring out into the hallway. "For only your eyes and only your hands…" He spat the last words. "Your own private whore."

"Loki, I don't understand…"

Of course he didn't. "What more should I expect from the likes of you?" he hissed. He started pacing back and forth in front of Thor, watching the floor or the ceiling but never the man. "What more should I expect from a selfish brute?" By Thor's silence it was obvious that he had no idea what to say. Finally, Loki whipped around to glare at him.

"What do you expect to happen?" he demanded and Thor could only look shocked. "Why do you keep coming here over and over, taking everything I have to give you and then just leaving with it?! What more do you want from me?! Why don't you just stay away?!"

"Because…" Thor searched for something to placate Loki. "Loki, I love you, I've told you that."

"Yes, you have." Loki jeered, shaking his head as he started pacing again. "Every time you use my body you tell me that. You tell me how much you care, how  _special_  I am, how you would rather see me anywhere but in this cell. And then you take your pleasure and you leave me here again, alone, in the cell you claim to hate as much as I do."

"Loki, forgive me for what—" Thor had stood and moved towards Loki, but only to be shoved away.

"No, forgive me,  _Odinson_ ," Loki purred, "for not seeing your care and your devotion in your actions. Forgive me for not comprehending how abandoning me time and time again is supposed to show how much you _love_ me." Loki was seething, magic pricking in his palms. He could have killed Thor.

"Then forgive me for not understanding why you've allowed yourself to be kept." Loki narrowed his eyes as his magic sparked out, arcing across his hands and fighting the barrier's resistance.

"I beg your pardon?" he cocked an eyebrow.

"You could have tried to kill me and escape at any time." Thor held his hands out, palms up, asking. "I have never restrained you, and I could have, but I chose to trust you."

"Foolishly so…"

"Are you sure?" Thor stepped closer, but Loki stepped back. "You had every opportunity to get away, or to tell me to leave, but you never did. I think you chose to trust me as well."

"Get out." Loki growled, pulling away when Thor tried to reach for him.

"Loki—"

"Get out!" He screamed again. "Leave and never come back!"

"Loki, I know you're upset but—"

"I SAID GET OUT!" Loki grabbed for the nearest object, which happened to be a rather large book, and hurled it at Thor. It ricocheted loudly off the vambrace of a quickly thrown up arm to land on the ground a few feet away. "I never want to see you in here again!" There were tears in his eyes, but when Thor took one step forward he grabbed for something else to throw. This time his hand found something heavy and metallic. With his eyes locked on Thor he wasn't sure what it was, but it got the man's attention and he moved two steps back, his hands up.

"Alright…" He walked backwards away from Loki, watching him as if to make sure he wasn't going to snap and throw the thing in his hand anyway. Once he'd reached the edge of the cell, he created a passageway for himself and exited quickly. As the barrier resealed, Thor cast a final glance, reluctant and apologetic, back at Loki before walking away down the hall, not looking back again.

Loki watched Thor until the man turned a corner and couldn't be seen again. In a fit of emotion he couldn't begin to describe, he screamed and flung the object in his hand against the barrier where Thor had left. The candelabra rebounded violently from the energy field, causing a flash of light before it crashed across the floor, the arms shattering off in all directions. Loki stumbled back from the force of his own throw and hit the wall, catching himself for only a moment before sliding down to the floor. He was shaking, his face was wet with tears. He pulled his knees up to his chest, curling himself up small in the corner and, as he bowed his head, watched a tear fall onto his knee, then another… He hit his head back against the wall to stare at the ceiling. The darkness was closing in once more.

Why did it have to happen like this?

 


	2. A Chance at Hope

Chapter 2

A Chance at Hope

Loki sighed heavily, curling up on his bed. He felt terrible. He'd felt terrible for weeks now, alternating between nausea and ravenous hunger, though unfortunately his meals came at intervals that he didn't have any control over. Most of the time he wasn't even given the relief of emptying his stomach. He groaned and curled up tighter as another wave of nausea hit him, making his head swim and his stomach churn. If he ever thought about Thor these days, it was to blame him for what was happening to his body. He knew it was his pathetic brother's fault. Somehow it had to be.

"Loki?"

He looked up at the sound of Frigga's gentle voice. "Hello, mother," he sighed.

"Are you unwell, my son?" She sat down next to him, and he closed his eyes again when he felt her delicate fingers brush his hair back.

"I'm afraid so," he murmured.

"What have you been feeling?"

"Nausea," he grimaced. "That's been the worst of it. And I'm tired all the time."

Frigga nodded. "Is that all?"

Loki hesitated. "…Not quite." He sighed again. Perhaps Frigga could help. "I've also been hungrier than usual, and, I don't know if this is related, but it is abnormal…my chest has been aching…to the point where I can't lie on my front without pain."

Frigga frowned. "Well that is odd." What was even odder was that she recognized the list of symptoms. "Would you sit up for me, so I can take a look at you?"

Loki nodded, pushing himself up with some effort. Frigga cupped his face carefully, and Loki closed his eyes again when he felt her magic flowing into him. He let her in easily, her magic as familiar as his own. This was hardly the first time she had examined him like this. Whenever he had felt poorly or been injured as a child, she had always been the only person he wanted to care for him.

After a few moments, Frigga lifted her hands just barely off Loki skin, moving them down his body slowly, letting herself be guided to the source of the problem. Her initial suspicions were confirmed when her hands settled just over Loki's lower abdomen and she felt the so-called problem.

Loki could feel that Frigga had found the source and opened his eyes. "What is it, mother?" Frigga sighed, her gaze flicking up to Loki's. This would be quite the shock.

"You are pregnant."

Loki blinked. "I-I'm…" he laughed dryly. That couldn't be true. "Mother, be serious…"

"I am being serious, Loki." Frigga took her hands away for now, folding them in her lap. "You're about nine weeks along from what I can tell."

"Weeks?" Loki shook his head. "Mother, how could that even be possible? How can I be…?"

"You know your body is different from that of most Asgardians."

"Yes. I know." His voice was hard. Different from most Asgardians, but perfectly normal for… "I knew that I had certain 'female'," he ground the word in his teeth, "parts to my body. But I wasn't aware that they were all present and…fully functional."

"Well it appears they are," Frigga sighed. "I knew there was a chance that this could happen. I wanted to tell you, but when you were younger it would have meant explaining too much, and with all the chaos as of late there just wasn't time."

"I know," Loki could never stay angry with Frigga. He normally could even get angry with her in the first place. "I know…"

"To be honest, what I am most curious about is who the father is," Frigga watched Loki carefully. "You hadn't mentioned that anyone else had been visiting you, aside from myself."

Loki swallowed hard. There was only one possibility. He looked away. "He hasn't visited in more than a month…I didn't think it was relevant anymore. I was trying to forget."

Frigga nodded. "Were these 'visits' consensual?"

Loki whipped his head around to stare at Frigga. She thought… "No! I-I mean yes…yes they were consensual, but no, no one's been…abusing me."

Tension visibly drained from Frigga's body. "Oh thank the gods," she murmured. "I couldn't bear…" she shook herself, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "So what did happen?"

"We…" Loki sighed. "We had a relationship, or something like one, for barely a couple of months. We fought and I told him not to come back. And he hasn't."

Frigga reached to place a hand on top of Loki's. "If you don't want him to know, or you just don't want to tell me, I will respect your wishes. And…" she sighed. "There are ways to end the pregnancy, if you would—"

"No!" Loki surprised himself with the volume of his own voice. He hadn't meant to yell, but his body had recoiled at Frigga's words, which scared him more than anything. He'd never wanted children; they had never interested him and seemed a burden more than anything else. But now that he had one, now that it was  _his_ , he couldn't just get rid of it. He felt ill at just the thought. "No…" he murmured again. "I'm keeping it."

Frigga merely nodded. "If that is what you wish, then that is what we'll do. I'll make sure that you're well taken care of."

"Mother, I'm in prison…"

"I won't see my grandchild born in a cell." Her voice left no room for argument. "I will speak with Thor. He can make arrangements for you."

Loki winced. "If that is what you want, then you will have no choice but to tell the father about my pregnancy."

Frigga's eyes widened momentarily, but she just nodded. "Thor is the father." And perhaps Loki's greatest shock was Frigga's complete lack of the same. "You two have always been close, drawn to each other," she said by way of explanation. "Now that you know you are not blood-related…well you wouldn't have needed the powers of prophecy to see this coming. Though the circumstances are far from ideal…"

Loki nodded slowly. He had always suspected that Frigga had premonitions, but that was the closest she had ever come to admitting it. He hesitated. "I don't want to see him."

"He will want to see you. Both of you."

Both of you…that made Loki's heart skip a beat, but he shook it off. "I don't care," he frowned, resting his head in his hands. "I don't want him to know. Make up some lie, tell him I am ill, but keep him away, keep everyone away."

"I will do as you ask," Frigga nodded. "Though, Eir will have to know. You'll need a real healer checking in on you." Loki agreed, despite his reluctance. "Do not worry, she is my oldest friend. If I ask her to keep a secret, she will."

"I believe you, mother."

Frigga was silent for a moment, then rested her hand on Loki's shoulder, only concern showing in her eyes. "And what will you do after the child is born?"

"I haven't thought that far yet." Loki admitted with a sigh. "I just found out about this. I will think of something."

Frigga sighed, but nodded her head. "Alright, my son. I will do as you ask." She rubbed his shoulder gently, then moved to stand up. But when a thought struck him, Loki grabbed for her hand, drawing her attention back. "Yes?"

"I just wanted to know…" he murmured, embarrassed now. "Is the…is it…" He swallowed. "Is everything alright with 'this'?" he just barely nodded to his stomach, but it was enough to set Frigga smiling.

"You child is perfectly fine," she murmured as she leaned to kiss Loki's forehead. "Growing strong and healthy. You have nothing to worry about."

Loki nodded, accepting the kiss. "Thank you," he breathed as a sigh of relief. Frigga smiled again.

"I will have everything sorted out within the week," she promised. "I have no doubt that there will be restrictions, but you will have proper rooms. No baby deserves to be born in a place like this."

Loki just nodded again. "Thank you, mother."

"You're welcome, my son." She kissed his forehead again before straightening up. Within seconds she had vanished.

Loki let his hand fall from where it had been when she held it. Slowly, almost nervously, he lay back down on his side. He pulled one leg up, then the other, lowering his head to stare at his stomach, noticing the slight curve that he had ignored before. He settled one arm under his head and moved the other down, his hand fluttering nervously away once before resting on his stomach.

"We'll be alright…" he murmured, still almost unable to believe what had happened. He was speaking to his baby. Remembering what Frigga had done, he let magic flow from his hand into his stomach, keeping it passive so as not to cause harm. It moved deeper and deeper, until it curled gently around the new presence. Loki gasped out loud when he felt the life force inside him, tiny but strong and very, very real. His breath came out choked as he curled up tighter, keeping his hand pressed to his belly even as he pulled his magic back. He didn't want to make a mistake and hurt the child, his child. "I'll keep you safe," he whispered and his eyes burned with sudden tears. "I'll keep you safe, my little one."

xxxxxx

Nearly three months had passed since Loki was moved into his new room. It was smaller than what his old suite had been, but it was certainly larger and nicer than a cell. The first thing he'd done when Frigga had brought him here was collapse on the bed and almost immediately fall asleep. After more than a year of sleeping on the cot in his cell, a real bed was paradise.

Frigga had explained the rules of his new confinement plainly. He was not allowed to leave this room, and guards would be posted outside day and night in addition to a shield which had been placed around the room, restricting his magic in the same way that the barrier in the cell had. Only Frigga and Eir were allowed to enter and see him. As king, Thor's permission to enter was implied, but he had never acted on it, respecting Loki's wish that he stay away. Frigga had mentioned more than once how he constantly asked about Loki's condition and worried about him, but Loki had never reacted well, sometimes yelling at Frigga to stop bringing him up. The former queen had always taken the outbursts well, and Loki would blame the pregnancy for his raging emotions once he'd calmed down.

At nearly twenty-four weeks along, Loki's pregnancy was obvious. Frigga had supplied him with clothes that hung loose over his mid-section, and brought him remedies to soothe the aches and pains that came with carrying a child. But despite the discomfort it brought, Loki's mood regarding his pregnancy at any given time was something like joyful. Or at least, as much joy as he could feel given his situation. He loved to feel his baby kick and often found himself curled up on his bed or in the armchair by the large window, running his hands over his stomach and speaking quietly to the baby. He knew the child probably couldn't hear him, but it made him feel better. He would talk about anything, from describing the scenery outside to his own emotions, things he'd thought he'd never say to anyone. How abandoned and betrayed he'd felt when he'd discovered that he had been taken from Jotunheim as a baby; how lost he had been and how easy that had made it for someone else to take control of him. It brought him to tears when he found it in himself to apologize for what he'd done, to admit how much he regretted it. He tried at first to make excuses for himself but eventually gave up. There wasn't an excuse for what he'd done; he'd hurt so many people, he'd even tried to kill his own brother, the man he cared for most deeply, more than once. It was his fault that his baby was being born under circumstances that no child should have to suffer. He ended up apologizing for that more than anything else.

He was no closer to a plan for what to do once the baby was born. Every option seemed more awful than the last. His worst fear was that he would be forced to give the baby up, that it would be taken to be raised by another family, and that he would go back to prison, never to see his child. The very idea made him weep. And what if the adoption were to be unveiled later? Loki couldn't bear the idea of his child going through what he had. More than anything, Loki wanted to keep his baby, raise it as his own, but he knew that there was only one person who could help him do that.

Thor had to be told.

He'd come to that conclusion slowly, reluctantly, but surely. It was a risk, but it could not be denied that he would need the king's help to plan for his future. At the worst, Thor would react out of anger and decide to send the child away, and at best Thor could banish Loki to raise his child alone. There was no way that Thor would want the baby, a bastard conceived with his own brother. For all his words of love, Thor had to have a limit.

Loki sighed heavily, leaning his head against the window pane. Today was the day, he'd decided. Today he would tell Frigga that he wanted to speak with Thor. He was expecting her to arrive at any moment, since it was nearly midday and she was the one who delivered all his meals. They'd thought it best to involve as few people as possible, and that included keeping servants away.

He looked up when he heard the lock click, and the door opened a few seconds later. Frigga smiled at him gently, sending a cart in front of her before entering the room. The cart rolled up next to his seat, seemingly of its own accord, though Loki could tell Frigga was using magic to control it. The former queen crossed the room after it, sitting down gracefully in the chair across from Loki's.

"How are you today, my son?"

"Well enough," Loki murmured, already having begun to eat. His taste for sweets had only grown with his pregnancy, and fruit was now his food of choice, since Frigga would hardly allow him to eat pastries for every meal.

"Any problems?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary," he shrugged. "That mixture you gave me has helped by backaches significantly."

"I'm glad to hear it." Frigga smiled, though she was carefully watching Loki's face. "Is there something on your mind, love?"

Loki sighed. Frigga had always been better at reading him than anyone else. "I've been thinking…" he began.

"Of course you have."

"Mother, please be serious." Frigga quickly schooled her smile into a solemn expression.

"As you wish."

Loki shook his head, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "I need to speak with Thor. This won't work unless I have his help."

Frigga merely nodded. "I know."

"You know?"

"I also knew that you would never accept that conclusion unless you came to it of your own accord."

Loki resisted the urge to pout. "You're probably right…" he sighed.

"So what shall I say to him?"

"Just say that I want to see him. That there's something we need to discuss." He gestured to his stomach, glancing down. "Once he's here,  _this_  will speak for itself."

"Indeed."

Loki looked up at Frigga. "So will you bring him here?"

"Of course," she nodded. "When would you prefer?"

"As soon as possible." He shook his head. "Before I think too much about it." Frigga chuckled softly at that, though there wasn't much humor in her expression.

"He'll be busy for the rest of the day, but I can send him here tonight, after evening meal." Frigga reached to place a hand on Loki's knee. "I'll be here with you if you really want it, but I think it would be better for the two of your to meet alone. There is much that needs to be said in private."

Loki sighed heavily but nodded. "I suppose you're right."

xxxxxx

The day could not have passed more slowly. By the time darkness had fallen outside and Loki knew Thor would be arriving soon, he was pacing back and forth. His heart was pounding as he tried to predict what Thor would do or say, but he couldn't think straight. When he heard Thor's footsteps coming down the hallway he very nearly panicked, quickly sitting down in his chair by the window and watching the door. He tried to take deep breaths, to calm himself if only for the sake of the baby, who probably wasn't pleased by the adrenaline surging in Loki's system.

Thor opened the door a few moments later, and at first looked more surprised than anything else. "Loki…" he murmured as the door clicked shut. "You look…well?"

For someone who was supposed to be suffering from some terrible illness he probably did look well. Loki quickly realized the Thor probably couldn't see his stomach's new shape because of how he was sitting. He sighed. The words wouldn't come, so he just carefully stood up, watching Thor's face change. The expression really was priceless, something between shock, confusion and…fascination? Loki wished he was in a mood that would allow him to appreciate it a little more. They were quiet for a long while, but when Thor's eyes fell to Loki's stomach one too many times, Loki rested his hands over it protectively.

"Are you going to say anything?" he muttered.

"Is it mine?"

Loki sighed. Of course that was the first thing out of Thor's mouth. "Yes, Thor. It's yours." He sighed as he sat back down, pulling his legs up into the chair as well, curled up around his baby. Thor was across the room faster than Loki would have thought possible, but evidently hadn't thought through what he was going to do once he got there. He awkwardly sank down into the chair across from Loki, watching him the whole time.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't think you needed to know."

"You didn't think I needed to know?" Thor's voice was caustic. "You're pregnant with my child and you didn't think I needed to know?"

"I am pregnant with  _my_ child!" Loki hissed, curling up tighter. " _Ours_  is a stretch I am barely willing to make. He is by no means yours."

"He?"

Loki could have slapped Thor, but just ended up slapping his own hand against his forehead. "It's just a pronoun, Thor. I don't know anything for certain yet." Frigga had already confirmed that the baby was indeed male, but surely that wasn't their primary concern.

"But you can find out, can't you?"

"Would you listen to yourself!" Loki exclaimed, staring, incredulous, at Thor. "You just found out that I'm pregnant, something we didn't even know was possible, and your only concern is whether it's a girl or a boy?!"

"I have other concerns as well, Loki…" Thor muttered, and it was only when Loki noticed how Thor had shrunk away from him that he realized how loudly he had been yelling. He shook his head, running a hand through his hair as he tried to relax back into his seat. Thor seemed to take that as permission to keep talking. "I am simply curious about all of this, about the condition of you both."

Loki sighed. He needed Thor's help, might as well throw him a bone. "We are fine. Healthy and growing normally." And Thor  _beamed_  at that. Loki just wanted to slap him again, but he was distracted when the baby started moving. He groaned under his breath, trying to readjust himself. "Not the time…" he murmured, rubbing his stomach gently in the hopes of calming the baby.

"What's wrong?" Loki was surprised by the look of concern on Thor's face.

"It's nothing," he lied. "Just nausea." Thor nodded. Even he would know the most common symptom of pregnancy, even if he couldn't recognize that Loki was far enough along so that nausea wouldn't be bothering him anymore.

"Do you need anything?" Thor was poised to stand, to bring Loki whatever he wanted. "Can I…help?" Loki raised an eyebrow. He hadn't expected that.

"Yes Thor, you can help. But not with this."

"I'll do anything I can."

Loki sighed, leaning his head on his hand. Why did Thor have to seem like he cared so much? "Once the child is born…" Loki didn't notice when Thor nodded eagerly. "There is the matter of where he will be raised."

"Do these rooms not satisfy you?"

Loki's gaze flicked up to Thor's face, watching for any sign that Thor wasn't being completely genuine. He found none and that only made him more suspicious. But he might as well see where this could lead him. He folded his hands over his stomach and shrugged. "Well they are fine while it is only myself in here, but as the child grows he'll need more room to run around."

"Well he'll have the whole palace for that, of course, but I'll make arrangements for you to be moved to somewhere more suitable. You should be comfortable for the time being."

Loki could only stare. "I'm sorry, I believe I misunderstood you…"

"What did you not understand?"

Loki narrowed his eyes at Thor completely open expression. There was some catch. There must be. Thor couldn't mean…

"Did you think I was going to send you off somewhere to raise him yourself?" There was a long pause.

"The thought had crossed my mind…" Loki kept his voice level, but inside his heart was breaking into black. Of course, that's what Thor had meant. Loki had taken the risk and lost. Thor was going to take his baby away from him, but keep the child for himself. On instinct Loki put his arms over his stomach, protecting. Thor was still talking.

"Well of course he'll be raised here," Thor said it like it should have been obvious. "There's no reason for an innocent child to be confined."

"And what are your plans for me?"

Now it was Thor's turn to look confused. "What do you mean?"

Loki growled under his breath, shoving himself up out of the chair and moving away from Thor. "You'll lock me up again, never let me see him." He only made it as far as the bed, gripping the frame with one hand and covering his stomach with the other. He could hear Thor behind him, and slapped the man's hand away when he felt it brush his arm. "I won't let you take him!" Loki hadn't realized he was crying until now as he felt a tear slip down his cheek. "You won't take my baby! I won't let you!"

"Loki, wait, I'm not…"

"Yes, you are!" Loki screeched. Forget listening to Thor or to his own reason. He shoved Thor back, not that it did much, before stumbling to hit the wall and covering his face with one hand. "Please don't take him." And now he was begging. "Please, please I can't…if you take him…I…" He didn't even know what he was saying.

"Loki,  _you_  will raise him here." Loki looked up when he heard Thor's voice from directly in front of him. "No one will take your baby away from you. I promise you that."

"Why?" Loki shook his head, now with both arms over his stomach. "Why would you let me? There's no reason why you should. I'm a prisoner. I'm a criminal." He found himself with his face buried in Thor's shoulder, sobbing as the other man wrapped his arms gently around Loki. "You shouldn't even want him. Why would you ever want him?"

"I want him because he's ours," Thor murmured. Loki shook his head weakly as he whimpered, though he wasn't sure why. "And because I love you and I want to have this child with you. I would never take him away, and I'm not sending you back to that cell either."

Loki looked up at Thor, wiping the tears from his eyes. "Then what will you do with me?"

"I will keep you safe," Thor smiled. "I'll keep you both safe and with me."

"You'll keep me as your whore," Loki cried, continuing despite the protests that quickly followed from Thor. "That's all I'll be, the king's whore."

"No, no you won't!" Thor insisted, holding Loki by the shoulders. "I won't force myself on you. I'll never touch you in that way again if you don't want it. But I will not allow the person I love, the person who has given me a child, to remain a prisoner. I won't stand for it."

Loki tried to shake his head again. There were so many flaws in Thor's foolish plan. Even as king he would never be able to make the rest of the realm accept it. But none of that mattered because Thor was suddenly kissing him hard. Loki spared a moment to whine softly but quickly gripped onto Thor, kissing back desperately. When Thor suddenly pulled away he whined again.

"I'm sorry," Thor murmured, dropping his hands to Loki's shoulders. "I said I wouldn't and then I just did—"

"Thor." Loki murmured and the blond met his gaze. "I'm in your arms, I'm kissing you in return; does it look like I don't want this?"

"Well…" Thor held his tongue for fear of saying the wrong thing. Loki shook his head.

"Let me rephrase. I'm in your arms, I'm kissing you in return; I want this." He pressed his lips against Thor's for the briefest moment. Thor nodded dumbly and Loki had to smile. "Kiss me already, you fool."

Thor smiled back and nodded again, but didn't lean in immediately. He moved one hand up to brush over Loki's cheek, then through his hair. Only after he'd cupped Loki's face in both his hands did he kiss him, gentle but unwavering. Loki rested his hands against Thor's chest, trying to move closer, though eventually his stomach got in the way. He huffed in annoyance but Thor chuckled.

"Just imagine what it will be like when he's even bigger," Thor spun Loki around, pulling him in closer so his back pressed against Thor's chest. "I'll only ever be able to hold you like this."

Loki allowed himself to laugh, o course Thor would be the one to make him laugh, though it turned into a purr when Thor kissed his neck, starting at the base where it met his shoulder and slowly moving up the pale column of skin to stop just below his ear. Thor's arms were fitted around him, strong and warm, and Loki relaxed into them easily. He had missed being touched like this.

"Would you let me…?"

"Hm?" Loki pulled himself out of his trance when he heard Thor speak.

"We don't have to if you don't want to…" Thor almost sounded nervous and Loki finally registered that the man's hand was hovering just above the tie that held his robe together. He smiled softly.

"Go ahead." He looked over his shoulder to kiss Thor lightly. Thor smiled briefly, deepening their kiss as he untied Loki's robe and slid it down his shoulders to pool on the floor. But when Thor's hands came back up to work on the tunic that had been underneath, reality kicked in and Loki stopped him, covering Thor's hands with his own and breaking the kiss.

"What's the matter?" Thor asked softly, only looking concerned. Loki bit his lip.

"It's just…" he looked down, away from Thor. "I look quite a bit different than I did when we last were together."

"Loki, I can see that even with your clothes still on."

"Well it's even more obvious when the clothes are off," Loki sighed, exasperated. He hadn't expected to be self-conscious like this, but it was impossible to deny that there had been a change in his body from the presence of the baby, not to mention the change in his eating habits. His body was now softer and fuller in many places that had never been soft or full before.

Thor rested his head on Loki's shoulder. "I told you I wouldn't try to force you, and I am going to stay true to my word," he kissed Loki's shoulder lightly. "We can just go to bed if you would prefer, but I want you to know this: I don't care that your body is changing." He smiled. "As far as I'm concerned, it's changing for the noblest cause there is. And that only makes you more beautiful to me."

Loki nodded slowly as he took in Thor's words. They didn't surprise him at all, now that he really thought about it. Besides, what was he going to do, hide himself completely from Thor for the next several months? Hardly… He looked over his shoulder again at Thor, who smiled back gently.

"And if I let you have me tonight, are you just going to leave once you've finished?"

Thor shook his head with surprising seriousness. "I will never abandon you again. I promise you that. I will spend my nights, and my days whenever possible, with you, if you will have me."

Loki smiled. "You really mean that, don't you?"

"Of course I do."

Loki smiled wider, laughing softly. "Go sit on the bed."

Thor looked confused for a moment, but at Loki's urging moved back, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Loki came to stand a few feet in front of him, slowly unlacing the front of his tunic before pulling his over his head. He kept his eyes on Thor and didn't drop the shirt right away, letting it rest on his forearms for a moment. When he finally tossed it to the floor, he watched Thor's eyes move over him slowly and smiled at the nearly reverent expression that came over the man's face.

"Come here." Thor held out his hands to Loki, who took them as he moved to straddle Thor's lap. When their hands parted, Thor's rested at Loki waist, while Loki draped his arms around Thor's neck.

"So how do you find me, brother?" Loki purred, leaning in closer when he felt Thor's hands move up his back slowly. Thor smiled and kissed Loki briefly before moving to kiss at his neck. Loki tipped his head to allow Thor easier access to his skin, winding his fingers in the blond hair that had been tantalizing his fingertips.

"Never think that you are unattractive, Loki," Thor murmured, and Loki sighed in contentment as the words brushed over his neck. "I will always find you beautiful, no matter what."

Loki gasped softly when that promise was sealed with a sharp bite to delicate skin, but smiled. "You've always been a sentimental fool," he breathed, his lips right next to Thor's ear.

"Well one of us has to be." Loki laughed at that, allowing Thor to kiss his lips again and eagerly returning the gesture. In a flash of playfulness he pulled Thor's lower lip between his teeth and nipped, smirking when Thor started at the suddenness of it. He pulled back slowly, pressing a light kiss just under Thor's mouth, though any apology that might have construed was diminished by the mischief in his eyes. Thor just smiled and shook his head.

"I love you," he murmured. Loki sighed and sat up a little as he ran his hands through Thor's hair again. "Truly I do," Thor continued, tipping his head to kiss the inside of Loki's wrist. "I would never lie about something like that."

"I know, Thor," Loki sighed again before kissing Thor lightly. "I know."

Thor nodded, pulling Loki closer to kiss him again. After a few moments, he laid him on the bed. Loki smiled and went easily, sliding his hands down to undo the clasp that held Thor's cloak together, shoving it out of his way. Thor chuckled as he tossed the cloak off the bed, his shirt following shortly after before their mouths were on each other once again. Loki kept his eyes closed even as Thor began to move down his body, placing a quick nip at the hollow of Loki's throat.

"You're just going to lie there, aren't you?"

"I think I've earned that." Loki smirked a bit, lazily glancing down at Thor. "You have no idea what carrying this child does to my body."

"I have some idea," Thor said, and the defensiveness made Loki chuckle. Hesitantly, Thor moved one hand to hover near Loki's stomach. "May I?"

Loki cocked an eyebrow. "No, Thor," he said sarcastically. "I want you to make love to me, but you must completely avoid touching my stomach." Thor still looked uncertain, but when he began to move his hand away Loki grabbed it, propping himself up a bit. "Gods, you oaf, yes it's alright!" he huffed.

"Just making sure you meant it," Thor muttered, carefully placing his fingertips on Loki's stomach. He very lightly traced the curve up to where Loki's chest flattened out, then back down, resting his palm just below Loki's navel. Loki gasped softly when the baby kicked sharply at Thor's hand, but he smiled when he saw the look of wonder cross the blond man's face.

"Was that him?" he breathed. Loki chuckled softly and nodded.

"Yes, he can be quite active, keeping me up all night just like you."

Thor smiled at Loki before looking back down at his stomach. He placed a light kiss at the spot where he'd felt the last kick, chuckling when another followed right against his lips.

"Stop making him kick me," Loki huffed.

"Sorry," Thor murmured, still obviously captivated by his new discovery. Loki allowed him a few more moments to explore, tracing light patterns on Loki's stomach, before he hit Thor's side with his knee. He raised an eyebrow when Thor looked up, confused.

"Forgetting someone?" Thor quickly looked sheepish when he realized that he'd been ignoring Loki.

"Sorry…" he mumbled again, moving up to kiss Loki, who tilted his head at the last moment so the kiss landed on his jaw.

"As much as I enjoy you touching me under any circumstances, I would much rather your intent be to touch  _me_."

"I know…" Thor sighed. "I was just distracted; this is the first chance I've gotten—"

"I know," Loki cut Thor off and tipped his head to nuzzle Thor's cheek. "I'm not angry with you," he smiled. "Just mildly annoyed at most."

Thor smiled back, cupping Loki's chin to kiss him and this time Loki didn't resist. He returned the kiss slowly, wrapping his arms around Thor's neck and pulling the man with him as he lay back on the bed. Thor took the initiative to deepen the kiss, slipping his tongue into Loki's mouth, which opened readily to allow him access, and Loki responded with his own tongue against Thor's, sliding them together as he let out soft sounds of contentment and pleasure. He knew how Thor loved to hear him, so he didn't hold back. Thor's hands drifted down his body and Loki sighed at the fingertips caressing his skin, moaning softly when he brushed against a more sensitive spot, or when teeth came into play during their kiss. When Thor pulled away and began to lay kisses across Loki's body, his moans grew louder and he tangled his hands in Thor's hair. It was so gentle, so adoring, and Loki's body warmed under the soft affection. He eagerly kicked off his pants when Thor tugged them down, and helped Thor off with his just as quickly.

Thor was back to kissing Loki's body almost immediately, now laving attention at Loki's nipples. Just Thor's tongue there made Loki moan and shiver, but when Thor took on in his mouth to suck, Loki arched his back and whined far louder than he'd expected. Thor pulled back, worried he'd hurt Loki somehow.

"Don't stop." Loki was panting softly. "They're just more sensitive now, because of…"

Evidently Loki didn't need to say more, because Thor smirked and quickly returned his attention to Loki's chest. It quickly became clear that Thor was trying to discover just how sensitive Loki was now, and Loki shocked himself with the answer as he writhed and moaned, arching up against Thor's lips. He'd never felt so much from so little; his thighs were trembling, squeezed around Thor's waist, and Thor had to be aware of how hot and wet Loki was growing between his legs.

"Thor…" he whined, but was unable to frown when Thor only glanced up and smirked before starting to suck Loki's nipple again. Instead he cried out, gripping Thor's hair tightly and letting out a long moan when Thor didn't stop. He was going to come, just from this, he could feel it growing. "Thor…Thor, I—AH!" Loki arched his back sharply when Thor bit down and seconds later he was coming, shaking in Thor's arms as the blond continued his ministrations until Loki was whimpering beneath him.

"That's another change I like," Thor smirked and, through his daze, Loki only nodded weakly, which drew a chuckle from Thor. He cupped Loki's chin and kissed him lightly, though it was a few seconds before Loki responded in kind.

"That was purposeful, wasn't it?" he breathed.

"Of course," Thor trailed one hand down Loki's body and to his slick entrance, carefully sliding two fingers inside. Loki's let out a low moan and rolled his head back as he eyes closed. He was still hypersensitive all over from his orgasm, being touched inside just made his head spin. Thor smirked. "You always like it more when I enter you  _after_  you've already finished once."

Loki smiled, gasping softly when Thor started to move his fingers in and out. "For a fool, you can be very observant," he teased but let out a whine when Thor pulled his fingers out. "Where are you goin—!" Loki's words were cut off by a yelp when Thor suddenly pulled him to the edge of the bed. "What are you doing!?"

"It will be easier for us both this way," Thor shrugged, just smiling. He still had a firm hold on Loki's thighs, and the dark-haired man finally realized how Thor had them positioned. The taller man was standing next to the edge of the bed with Loki's legs on either side of his body. Clearly, Loki's stomach would not get in their way like this.

"I see," Loki nodded, quickly wrapping his legs around Thor's waist. "Now hurry up."

Thor smiled, sliding his hands up Loki's thighs to hold his waist before starting to push into him slowly. Loki let out a gasp, thankful that Thor was gentle. He seemed to fill Loki impossibly. It had been far too long.

"Oh gods…" he laughed breathlessly. "Slow down."

Thor nodded in reply and, of course, obeyed, staying still inside Loki for several moments before he began to rock his hips, just barely moving inside Loki, like he had during their first time together. And just as it did then, the gentle movement set off stars behind Loki's closed eyes and brought a hint of smile to his parted lips as he revealed in the sensation of being filled by Thor. His smile grew when he opened his eyes lazily to find Thor eyes meeting his.

"You must find me fascinating to stare at me so," he teased, his voice airy from his pleasure.

"I find you beautiful, perfectly beautiful," Thor replied. "And I almost can't believe that you would allow me to have you this way."

Loki shook his head, almost rolling his eyes. "Believe it, darling. I'm not going anywhere right now."

Thor smiled. "And once we're finished here, are you going to run off?" Loki had to laugh softly at Thor's teasing, all thoughts of his confinement forgotten.

"Not if you continue to treat me like this," he grinned. "But for good measure, I think you should make me come so hard that I can't stand up to get away."

"By Hel, Loki…" Thor groaned and Loki only smirked more, letting out a soft moan.

"Come on, I know you can." And he certainly wasn't disappointed. Within moments Thor was slamming into him, making the bed shake with each thrust and Loki threw his head back to cry out in pleasure. "Thor!" he shouted, eyes shut tight as he gripped the blankets with both hands. "Gods! Thor, yes! Just like that!" He could barely hear Thor's quieter sounds, past his own yelling, but smiled when he did, forcing his eyes open. Thor's eyes had been closed as well, but he seemed almost to sense that Loki was looking at him, for he returned his gaze moments later.

"Loki…" he panted, and when he leaned closer Loki pushed himself up as much as he could to meet him for a kiss. It was messy, rough and their mouths could hardly touch because of their contorted position, but it was perfect nonetheless, and teeth and tongues took over when their lips failed, often causing sweet pain that only fed their pleasure. Loki had to collapse back onto the bed after his arms gave out, weakened by the shockwaves that each of Thor's harsh thrusts forced through him.

"Touch me…" he begged, his eyes closed again. But no sooner were the words out of his mouth then did Thor thrust hard into him and stop moving completely. Loki shouted in frustration and he eyes flashed open to glare at Thor, but he found only amusement looking back at him.

"Why should I touch you, Loki?" Thor panted softly, and Loki shivered when he felt Thor's fingertips trialing over his inner thigh. His whole body was tense with the need for release, but he would not be denied because Thor decided to play a game with him. He smirked, trying to ignore the unsatisfying pleasure that burned through him at having Thor just stay still inside him.

"Because I need to come," he purred, tightening himself around Thor suddenly and smiling when that pulled a soft groan from the man. "Isn't that what you want to see?"

"Of course," Thor replied and Loki gasped when he began to move slowly in and out. It wasn't enough, not nearly enough, but it kept his body tense and wanting. "Can't you touch yourself and make yourself come?"

Loki whined softly as he looked up at Thor. He pretended it drove him crazy, but he loved when Thor played these games. There was nothing like being made to wait. His whole body was trembling with the need for more. "Because I want it to be you," he breathed, moving his hands up Thor's arms to grip his shoulders. "Please, I want you to make me come."

And of course that was just what Thor wanted to hear. Within moments Thor was thrusting hard and fast into Loki, who nearly screamed when he felt Thor's hand on his length, stroking smoothly and quickly. He toes curled as he locked his legs around Thor's waist, arching his back with a shout as he finally came, his body remaining rigid and trembling for several seconds. He was vaguely aware of Thor's warm release inside him as he collapsed back against the bed, gasping for breath as lights sparked behind his eyes. He could hear Thor's heavy breathing as well and smiled, giggling the way he often did after Thor made him feel like that.

"Good work, brother," he panted softly, looking up at Thor, who returned his gaze when he heard Loki speak. "I'm not going anywhere." Loki laughed as he relaxed back against the bed. "Hel, I can barely feel my legs!"

"Well I'm glad to hear that you won't be running off," Thor laughed softly too, pulling out of Loki after a moment and laying beside him as their laughing quieted. They were silent for a long time, not even touching for a while until Thor laid his hand next to Loki's and their fingers intertwined. Loki smiled softly, though he kept his eyes facing the ceiling. He was utterly content.

"I love you." Thor's whisper broke the silence, and when Loki looked over he wasn't surprised to find Thor looking back at him. The blond man smiled a little. "I love you so much."

Loki sighed, his smile almost sad. "You want to hear me say it back, don't you?"

"Can you blame me?"

Loki shook his head, rolling onto his side so he and Thor were facing each other. "Do you think that I love you?"

"I hope that you do…"

"That is not what I asked," Loki sighed. He glanced down at their joined hands, running his fingers over Thor roughened palm. "Do you think that I love you?"

Thor was quiet for a while. "I am not sure," he sighed. "You can be so open and tender, and then suddenly you'll change and push me away. I never know which one to believe."

Loki nodded slowly. "I suppose that's true."

"So what are your feelings for me?"

Loki hesitated. He had always known what he felt, but saying it aloud would make it frighteningly real. He kept his eyes down. "Do you remember what I said to you before your first coronation those years ago? After you told me that I was incapable of sincerity…"

Thor chuckled at the memory. "You told me that, even though you are sometimes envious, I should never doubt that you love me."

"Well remembered," Loki smiled shyly. "What I said doesn't just apply to envy. Sometimes I am angry, or upset…even afraid." He slowly looked up at Thor. "But even then, you should never doubt that I love you."

He had expected passionate kisses from Thor at the confession, but all that came was one light kiss on his forehead, soft and pure as a gentle hand brushed over his cheek. "Thank you, my love." Loki smiled. That was really all he needed. And when he fell asleep next to Thor for the first time that night, he was certain that he had never been happier in his life, warm and safe in the arms of his beloved.

 


	3. A Mother's Prayer

Chapter 3

A Mother's Prayer

Loki had tears in his eyes as his head hit the bed again, and he heaved in a breath as the last pains of the contraction ebbed from his body. That breath came out something like a sob when he realized that another was still to come. He couldn't do this. He'd been in labor for nearly two days and nevermind that this was the final stretch, he  _just_   _couldn't_   _do_   _it_  anymore. Exhausted didn't even come close. He longed for something so blissful as exhaustion.

"Loki, come on. Just a few more minutes and this will be over," Loki whined pitifully at his mother's words, wanting nothing more than to curl up and sleep for days. But when the next contraction hit him he was thrown forward by instinct, screaming in pain and frustration as he gripped the arm the Frigga had braced across his chest and pushed with all his strength. Tears were flowing freely when the contraction ended, and Loki shook his head weakly, clinging to Frigga.

"Mother, I can't!" he sobbed. "I can't!"

"Yes, you can, Loki," her voice was soft, but no less commanding. "Just one more and you'll have your baby in your arms. Just one more, I promise."

Loki whined again, sobbing once more when he felt the next contraction begin but nevertheless bearing down. He gritted his teeth so hard that for a moment he worried they would shatter in his attempts to keep from screaming again. When he hit the bed a final time, he gasped for air. His body was shaking now from overexertion, and his eyes closed as his head pounded. But despite everything, a smile broke out on his face when he heard his baby start to cry. He forced his eyes open after a moment and gazed up at Frigga, who kissed his forehead, wiping away the tears and sweat that had gathered on his face and neck.

"Congratulations, Loki," her smile matched his. "You have a son." Instantly Loki's tears were those of joy instead of pain and fatigue. He had a son.

He allowed Frigga to help him sit up a little, leaning back against some pillows as he watched his son being washed and dressed on the other side of the room. His eyes didn't leave the boy for a moment, taking in every detail he could even as Frigga helped clean him up a little and coaxed him to drink some water. The baby had black hair, just like Loki, and he looked small, but certainly not weak as he squirmed and fussed in the nurses' care.

"When will Thor be here?"

"Once we have made sure that you and the baby are alright, he will be allowed in," Frigga smiled. "I'm sure he's pacing in his chambers, just waiting for the word to come." Loki smiled a little at the image.

"I still don't understand why he couldn't be here…"

"It's simply traditional," Frigga sighed. "Men are always kept away during the birth of a child."

"Unless of course a man is the one giving birth…" Loki shook his head and Frigga chuckled.

"It does seem silly, doesn't it?" She sighed, kissing Loki's forehead again. "I'm so proud of you, my son." Loki smiled, closing his eyes for a moment. He wanted to sleep, desperately wanted to sleep, but even more desperately he wanted to hold his baby.

It seemed to take an eternity for the nurses to finish taking care of him, but Loki gave a delicate smile when the now sleeping child was finally presented to him. He took the boy in his arms, carefully obeying Frigga's advice on how to hold him.

When he finally had a closer look at the baby's face, his heart stopped.

The baby had Loki's pale, pale skin, but it was…marred somehow…with raised patterns on his forehead and along his cheekbones, even the backs of his tiny hands, far too even and symmetrical to be normal birth defects. Loki was about to turn to Frigga to ask what was wrong when it hit him like a blow to the head.

They were jotunn markings. His son had jotunn markings.

Loki covered his mouth with his free hand as tears began to flow anew. Tears of grief.

"Oh what have I done to you, my precious boy?" Loki gasped, rubbing his thumb along the ridges of the baby's forehead. He curled up around his child, protecting him from judgmental eyes. He should have known. He should never have allowed it to come to this… His voice was barely above a whisper now. "How could I have so carelessly cursed you with this?"

"Loki…" Frigga didn't know what to make of Loki's words, but he didn't seem to hear her in any case.

"I'm sorry, my son," Loki whispered. "I'm so sorry." Then everything went black.

xxxxxx

When Loki awoke, the first thing he saw was Thor sitting next to him on the bed.

"Hello, my love," Thor said softly, "Are you feeling better?"

Loki just shrugged, curling up tighter on the bed. He didn't want to think about where his baby was. Thor probably couldn't have even stood to look at the child…a monster. For all Loki knew, he'd already had the boy taken away. He felt his heart growing cold. Thor would break the news softly, some lie about the baby not having survived…

"You fainted just a few minutes after giving birth," Thor offered, reminding him, coaxing him to respond. "Mother said you were probably just exhausted from the strain of labor, so we let you sleep all day." He nodded to the window, indicating the darkness outside. Loki didn't respond, trying to keep from crying. It was hopeless. Within moments there were tears running down his cheeks.

"Where is he?" he choked out, preparing himself to believe the lie.

"In his cradle, sound asleep." Loki whipped his head around to look at Thor, who only looked concerned. "What's the matter, love? Why are you crying?"

Loki could only stare at Thor for a moment before pushing himself up, frantically trying to locate the cradle. He found it across the room, and barely managed to breath. His baby was here. He could see him swathed in a pale blue blanket.

"You…you kept him…"

"What do you mean? Of course I kept him, he's our son." Thor cupped Loki's face, turning him back so they were eye to eye. "Loki, what is wrong?" Loki shook his head, closing his eyes as more tears slipped down.

"Didn't you see them?" his voice broke as he said it.

"See what?"

"The markings!" Loki's voice raised nearly an octave, but it was back to a whisper within a moment. "He has jotunn markings, Thor…"

"What of them?"

Loki could only stare for a moment before pushing Thor's hand away and covering his face. "He has the mark of a monster. I've passed my curse onto my son."

Thor sighed. "Mother told me that just before you fainted you were muttering things that didn't make sense. Something about a curse, and you were apologizing. Is this what you were talking about?"

Loki nodded. "I should have known…I should never have had a child," he buried his face in his hands. "What can a monster create but monsters?"

There was silence between them for a moment and Loki waited for Thor to say something, but they were both cut off when they heard soft noises from the cradle. Not crying, just cooing and gentle fussing as the baby sought attention. Thor was up instantly, crossing the room to carefully lift the child out of the crib. He could have held the tiny baby in just his two hands, but adjusted him so he was close to that broad chest, keeping him warm. Loki watched as the baby quieted down, seeming content in Thor's arms.

"That's better, isn't it?" Loki's eyes widened as he realized that Thor was speaking to the baby. "We woke you up, didn't we, with all our talking? Terribly rude of us, I know."

"You…" Loki didn't know where to begin. Thor just smiled.

"Did you think I wouldn't love him just because of one little feature?"

"I don't know…." Loki murmured, but nodded after a moment, his face in his hands again. "I thought he'd be repulsive to you."

"You don't need to worry about that." Loki could hear the smile on Thor's face and it broke his heart to think it might be false. "No one will ever consider him repulsive."

"That won't be true…you know it" he sighed, pulling his knees up to his chest, starting to ramble again. "He will be loved as your son, but hated as mine. No one will be able to accept the bastard child of—"

"Loki." And Loki had to look up in surprise because Thor's voice was suddenly closer. He found the other man sitting on the bed, right in front of him. "Loki, look at our son." Loki pointedly kept his still watering eyes on Thor's face and away from the infant. All he wanted was to hold the boy close, care for him, protect him, but it would only hurt more to love a child that should hate him for everything he'd done. Thor sighed. "Loki, please look at him." Loki felt something inside him break at the near pleading in Thor's voice. He closed his eyes, breathing deeply as he prepared himself, before tipping his gaze down to the baby. What he saw caused his mouth to fall open.

His son was staring back at him with wide eyes, the exact color of pure, dark amethyst. Loki had never seen the like and was instantly captivated, bringing a hand up to cover his mouth. "By the gods…" he whispered. He tried to look up at Thor, but couldn't pull his eyes away from his child. The baby just looked back at him, squirming around a bit. Loki noticed he'd managed to work his arms out of the tightly wrapped blanket, and seemed to be trying to do the same with his feet. Loki had to laugh a little, placing his hand on Thor's arm so he could brush the back of a finger lightly against the baby's cheek.

Thor smiled. "You see? He's beautiful, perfectly beautiful." Loki didn't make a sound, reaching to run his fingers over the baby's dark hair.

"But where did those eyes come from?"

Thor chuckled as he watched Loki. "I believe it's because that is the color you get when you combine the colors of our eyes."

Loki shook his head. "Thor, blue and green does not make—"

"Your eyes are not naturally green, Loki."

Loki flicked his gaze up to Thor's, watching him for a moment before the realization set in. "Blue and…red…" he murmured. Thor nodded.

"They make a beautiful combination, don't they?" Loki had to nod after a moment, a smile threatening at the corners of his mouth.

"Yes," he whispered. "Yes they do." He looked back to the baby, who after a moment began to fuss, like he might start to cry. At once Loki was reaching to hold the child and Thor gave him over willingly.

"He's probably hungry again," Thor sighed, stroking the baby's hair to try and soothe him. Loki nodded, feeling his chest ache as his son began to cry louder. With some help from Thor, he quickly untied the lacings on his shirt, moving it out of the way and adjusting the baby so he could nurse. The boy took to suckling at Loki's chest easily, closing his eyes in contentment as he snuggled closer. Thor smiled.

"It's a good thing he has you for this now. He absolutely hated having to drink from a bottle." Thor chuckled at the memory. "He kept spitting it out and wouldn't stop crying. It took us ages before he finally gave in and drank a proper amount."

Loki smiled a little, letting the baby grip his finger lightly. "You could have woken me up for this."

"It was only once, and mother thought it would be better to just let you rest. She was worried about you."

"I'm not surprised," Loki sighed, tracing his fingertip over the ridges on the back of the baby's hand. "He won't look like the other children," he murmured, unable to help remembering lonely scenes from his own childhood. "He'll be different, an outsider."

"Then maybe we'll have to provide him with some brothers and sisters, so he won't be alone." Loki sent Thor a sharp, questioning look, but he received only a gentle smile in return. "I mean that, Loki," Thor said softly, looking down at the baby again. "I'll love every child you give me. I don't care if they have these markings." He laughed softly. "By the nine realms I don't care if some of them turn out blue!" Loki couldn't help but laugh at that too, leaning his head against Thor's shoulder. The other man kissed his hair, slipping his arms around Loki. "I'll love every one of our children, no matter what they look like. And I know they'll all be beautiful, just like their mother."

Loki smiled, huffing as tears came into his eyes again. He shook his head as he wiped them away. "I thought the mood swings were supposed to stop after I had the child."

Thor chuckled softly. "It's been a long day. You have every right to be emotional." Loki shook his head as he laughed too, looking up at Thor.

"Thank you," he murmured, closing his eyes to graciously accept a kiss to his forehead. Thor's words were comforting, even if they could not erase all of his worries.

"You're welcome," Thor replied, smiling. Loki tried to smile back, but sighed.

"There's still the problem of how he'll be accepted by others…" Thor groaned, burying his face in Loki's shoulder.

"Always more problems with you," he chuckled. "Can't you just be happy?"

"I'm being realistic, Thor," Loki huffed. "My position is tenuous enough, and he's my son as much as he is yours. What does that make him?"

"It makes him the son of a prince and a king," Thor smiled.

"The  _illegitimate_  son of a  _disowned_  prince, and a king." Loki sighed.

"Odin never disowned you."

"He threw me into a prison cell," Loki frowned, leaning back against the headboard. "I think his actions say enough, even if he never put it in writing."

"Perhaps it seems that way to you, but legally that it not the case." Loki could have slapped Thor for the way he was still smiling. "As Odin's son you are still next in line for the throne."

"I am  _not_  his son."

"Fine. As Odin's adopted son, you are still next in line for the throne." Loki sent Thor a look, but Thor just raised an eyebrow and returned his gaze. "Happy?"

Loki just rolled his eyes. "If you say so." Instantly Thor's smile was back and Loki just shook his head.

"So you see? He is entirely of royal blood. There is nothing that can be disputed about his position here as my son."

"He's still your illegitimate son."

"Well that won't be a problem if you marry me."

Loki's eyes widened and he stared at Thor. His mouth opened, but nothing came out. Thor couldn't help laughing a little.

"I think that's the first time I've ever rendered you speechless."

"If this is some cruel jest I will not forgive you." Loki was very pleased with the shocked reaction that got.

"Of course it is not a jest," Thor's arms tightened momentarily around Loki. "I mean that. I will marry you."

"How?"

Thor looked confused. "Well, as I understand it, we can just get a priest or priestess to conduct the ceremony—"

"Thor!" Loki hissed. He sighed as the baby finished nursing and brought him up to rest against his shoulder, patting his back lightly. Once the infant had released the air in his stomach, Loki settled the boy in his arms again and looked back to Thor. "I meant how do you plan on justifying our marriage to the realm? You may have forgiven me, but the rest of Asgard has not." There was also the fact that they were technically brothers, but it was only through adoption… And quite honestly stranger matches had been made before.

"That will change," Thor kissed Loki's cheek. "Especially when they see how you dote on the lovely baby you've given me."

Loki sighed. "I know you believe that."

"And I hope you will see that I am right in time," Thor smiled. "So will you marry me?"

Loki rolled his eyes, smiling a little as well but keeping his gaze on their baby. "I don't know. Do you have anything to symbolize this proposal?"

"We have our baby, is that not symbol enough?"

Loki laughed, looking up at Thor. "Just because I am your brother and the mother of your child does not mean that I will accept a lackluster marriage proposal from you. You had better get me a proper betrothal piece."

Thor smiled back. "And when I do that, what will your answer be?"

"I really should make you wait and find out," Loki sighed dramatically. "But I suppose you're trustworthy enough to know in advance."

"Well?"

Loki shook his head as he laughed again. "My answer is yes, you fool."

At once Thor was kissing him and Loki happily kissed back, only pulling away when the baby squirmed in his arms and fussed a bit, vying for their attention. "Alright, little one, no need for that." Loki chuckled, adjusting the blanket to cover the boy a little more. He'd nearly kicked his way out of it by now.

"Evidently he's about as bothered by the cold as you are," Thor smiled. Loki nodded, trying not to fret over the implications of that statement. He would have to start accepting this, for the sake of his son more than anything else. He opened his mouth to speak, then paused, swallowing his reluctance before turning to Thor.

"I just want you to know, I'm not marrying you out of a desire for power," he spoke softly, nervously. "Quite honestly, when I first told you I was pregnant, I was preparing myself to be exiled in order to raise him in secret, because I thought that would be safest for us all. I have no more ambition to be Asgard's king; our son took that out of me, though I will do my best at your side. I'm marrying you to keep him safe, so he'll have a good life." He hesitated. "And because I love you."

"I love you, too," Thor smiled softly as he nodded. "And I already believed that about you, but thank you for telling me. I think I will need you in order to be a good king. I'm a warrior, I always have been and that's how I will always think. You're the intellectual, the diplomat, just like mother. She helps me now, but when she is no longer with us I will still need someone to rely on. And I want that person to be you."

"I will happily be there for you." Loki grinned. "The Norns know what would become of this realm otherwise."

Thor laughed. "You're probably right." He kissed Loki again before looking down at the boy in his arms. "You know, my heir will need a name."

Loki chuckled and nodded. "Did you have anything in mind?"

"Well I had some time to think while you were sleeping away the day," Thor smirked at the amused glare that earned from Loki. "And I was thinking Svarti, because of his black hair, and dark eyes."

Loki sighed, watching their baby's face "Svarti," he repeated. "It's a heavy name for a little boy. Do you really want to name him after blackness?"

Thor chuckled softly. "I don't see anything wrong with it. If there is anyone who can prove blackness to be beautiful, it's the two of you." He kissed Loki's forehead lightly. "My dark beauties."

Loki sighed softly, closing his eyes for a moment. Perhaps Thor was right. "Svarti," he murmured once more, then smiled. "It's perfect."

"I'm glad you think so," Thor kissed Loki's forehead gently, before looking back to their son. "Welcome to the world, Svarti, soon to be prince of Asgard." Loki smiled, brushing his fingers through the boy's dark hair. Svarti's gaze flicked back and forth between them both before finally those violet eyes settled on Loki. And Loki had to smile as, for the first time, he let himself feel all the love for his baby that he'd been fighting and fearing, let it swell and bloom in his chest until he thought his heart would burst with the glow.

"Welcome to the world, my precious son," he whispered. He lifted Svarti up a little so he could kiss his forehead, speaking his next words like a prayer, right against the baby's skin. "May you know nothing but peace and happiness through all your long life."

 


	4. A Love to Outshine Them All

Chapter 4

A Love to Outshine Them All

Loki was curled up in his armchair with Svarti in his arms, the baby babbling contentedly while Loki chuckled and talked to him softly. At four months old he was still small, but very active; even when being held he liked to move around, stretching his arms and kicking legs. Loki liked to say that Svarti would end up being just like Thor because of it. It helped that he looked just like his father in the shape of his features and the smooth texture of his hair, though for the most part he had Loki's coloring, and the marking set him apart. Loki often found himself tracing the ridges on the baby's forehead, having discovered that it was a good way of getting him to fall asleep.

Loki still worried that people would treat his son differently, or even badly, because of the way he looked. Whenever he and Thor brought Svarti out, he held the baby close and felt his heart race each time a new person came near. But despite his fears, the worst he'd ever seen was a look of surprise. Perhaps that was because the people who truly hated him made a point of staying away.

Loki looked up when he heard the door open and smiled softly when Thor entered.

"Hello, my love," Thor smiled back as he crossed the room. When he was just a few feet away he stopped, a look of bewilderment mixing with his smile. "Look at you…" he breathed as he carefully set down the bag he carried.

Loki had a moment of confusion before his eyes widened and he remembered. He had picked up the habit of allowing his own markings to appear whenever he and Svarti were alone. He didn't lift the enchantment completely, not wanting to change his features too much, but the patterns were obvious against his pale skin, just as they were on Svarti. He looked away, quickly covering the markings as his skin burned with shame. "I-I…"

"Wait, bring them back." Loki slowly glanced up at Thor, and found only sincere curiosity looking back at him. Thor was closer now, and he knelt next to Loki's chair. Loki sighed, closing his eyes as he let the enchantment fade just enough to reveal the patterns on his skin. Thor smiled again. "Gods, you're beautiful."

Loki blinked, and his mouth opened but he didn't know what to say. He had expected interest, questions, but not to be complimented like that. It stirred something inside him that made him feel ill. "Beautiful…" he shook his head. "Thor, I'm not—"

"Yes, you are," Thor chuckled. "Don't try to convince me otherwise."

Loki rolled his eyes, looking back down at Svarti. "I just do it for him," he said defensively. "So he'll know why he looks the way he does…" Thor nodded.

"You don't have to be ashamed of it," he sighed. He reached up to run the back of his hands over Loki's cheek. Loki forced himself not to flinch as he felt Thor's fingers rise and fall over the ridges. He turned his gaze up to Thor.

"Who says I'm ashamed of it?"

"You did, when you tried to hide it from me." Loki sighed, knowing Thor was right, but didn't respond. Thor waited, but when no reply came he continued. "You shouldn't hide yourself from anyone," he murmured. "You don't have to give up the enchantment completely, but if you were to stay like this…" he traced one of the marks that followed Loki's cheekbone. Loki pulled away.

"Thor, don't," he shook his head again. He didn't want to have this conversation. It was too much; it hit too many painful places inside him. "I told you, I'm only doing it for him," his voice bordered on pleading in its insistence. "Just so that he knows he's not alone."

Thor pulled his hand away and sighed, finally picking up on Loki's distress. "Do you think he won't notice that you hide it from everyone else?" He murmured. "He  _will_  be alone. He'll think that he should hide too."

Loki stared at Thor for a moment, staying silent. He knew that Thor was right. He hated that Thor was right. He covered his mouth with his hand, trying to breathe normally. "Thor, I…" he choked in a breath. "Thor, I can't…"

"Why not?" Thor asked softly, cupping Loki's face in his hand. "It's not as if no one knows about this. There's no need to hide."

"Yes, there is," Loki insisted, though he kept his voice soft as well. Neither of them wanted to upset the baby. "It's one thing for people to know, it's another thing entirely for them to have to see it. If I'd had the chance, I would have covered his markings as well, but I was hardly in my right mind when I first saw them, and then you wouldn't let me."

Thor sighed. "And I'm glad you didn't insist on it, but that means that everyone has seen these markings on him. They know where it comes from, and I have yet to encounter anyone who was off put by them. He is an innocent, he cannot help what he looks like, and neither can you." He brushed his hand gently through Loki's hair. "You did not ask to be brought here. You did not ask to be different."

"But if I flaunt it…" Loki murmured, and the words tore at his throat as he forced them out. "If I make it more obvious that I am different, or make it seem like I'm proud of it, what will people think?"

"Loki, this isn't a drastic change. And you  _should_  be proud of looking this way. It's beautiful," Thor smiled. "Exotic as well."

Loki grimaced. "Why must you always flatter me like that?"

"Because I never seen to run out of reasons to do so," Thor chuckled, hoping for a smile from Loki, though he did not get one. He stole a kiss from Loki's cheek before continuing. "I would love to see you like this all the time, and I do truly believe that it would be good for him to see you like this outside of this room."

Loki sent Thor an accusatory look. "And if we have another child who has blue skin, will you tell me that I need to weaken the enchantment even more?" That stumped Thor for several moments.

"I'm not going to force you to give it up completely if you truly don't want to, so I'm not sure what I would tell you then." He looked at Loki for a moment. "You know, I've never seen what you look like without the enchantment."

"For good reason," Loki turned away, adjusting Svarti in his arms. He smiled for a moment when he noticed how intently the baby was watching them both and gave the boy his finger to hold. It pained him to feel the joy brought out by his baby's contentment. "You say you would think I am beautiful under any circumstances, but I doubt such a promise would extend to that form."

"I still would like to see you like that," Thor murmured. "I've wondered about it. And now that I've seen this…"

"Thor," Loki warned.

"I'm not demanding it," Thor held his hands up. "I'm only telling you, I'm curious."

Loki sighed. "We'll see. About all of it. I just need to think this over." As much as Loki hated to admit it, there was merit to what Thor had said, but it would take a great deal for him to make such a leap. And those weren't problems he wanted to deal with.

"Of course," Thor nodded, and Loki had never been more grateful that the man was so forgiving. Perhaps he understood Loki's difficulties, perhaps he didn't, but either way he respected the pronouncement. Thor looked down at Svarti when the baby started fussing, and narrowed his eyes a bit when he let go of Loki's finger in favor of tugging on the front of his shirt. Loki just smiled.

"Patience, my little one," he murmured, moving the tiny hands out of his way to unlace his shirt, adjusting Svarti so he could nurse. The baby soon quieted, curling up against Loki. Thor chuckled.

"Is that how he asks to be fed now?"

"Yes," Loki smiled, glad for the change of subject. Even now, Svarti had his ways of distracting them both. "He's a clever boy."

"Just like you."

Loki rolled his eyes, turning to smirk at Thor. "Well he certainly doesn't get it from you."

Thor laughed. "Where will I be when I have that coming from two silvertongues?"

"Oh I'm sure you'll manage somehow," Loki chuckled before Thor kissed his forehead then his lips quickly. It didn't take long for Loki to return to watching Svarti and he sighed sweetly when his baby looked up at him.

"What's it like, feeding him like that?" Loki glanced at Thor when he heard the question, though it took a few moments to process. He gave a one shoulder shrug.

"It feels exactly how you'd expect, like there's a little mouth sucking on your nipple," he murmured, turning his attention back to the baby. He smiled when he saw that Svarti was still looking at him and stroked the back of his little hand gently.

"Well I can imagine how it feels physically," Thor chuckled. "But you get such a dreamy look on your face every time, there must be something more than just the physical sensation."

Loki nodded slowly. "Yes, you're right." He paused for a moment, thinking. "I suppose it's because this connects him to me again, the way we were connected while I was pregnant. I like feeling that again, that I'm providing for him." He looked over at Thor, embarrassed when he found Thor staring back, smiling. "What?"

"I love you."

Loki rolled his eyes. "You are such a fool."

"But you love me as well."

"Yes," Loki sighed. "I do." That earned him another kiss on his cheek at which he smiled. When Svarti finished nursing, Loki laid the baby on his lap, allowing him to move around a bit more. When Svarti's eyes found Thor the man's face lit up.

"And how is my boy doing today?" he cooed and Svarti smiled, squealing happily when Thor picked him up off of Loki's lap. Loki laughed softly when Thor nuzzled his nose against Svarti's and made the baby giggle, his tiny hands finding Thor's beard as always. Loki had no problems letting Thor dote on Svarti during the evenings. In fact he loved to see how gentle and playful Thor could be, not to mention that it was a nice rest for him, since during the day Svarti was entirely his. Frigga came over sometimes and helped him, but more often than not it was just Loki and the baby together all day. Since he and Thor were not yet married, Thor was still working out some of the legal issues, and he had no real power in the realm, there wasn't much else for him to do. But Loki loved playing with his baby. Svarti seemed to grow so quickly, Loki didn't want to miss a moment. It wasn't uncommon for Thor to return to their rooms and discover Loki completely caught up in some game he was playing with Svarti, whether it involved toys or was simply a round of tickling and laughing. One time Thor had even discovered Loki lying on his back, lifting Svarti up in the air before bringing him back down for a kiss, each time to a different spot. Both baby and mother had been so enraptured by their simple game that it had taken several minutes for Loki to notice the other man's presence in the room. They'd both laughed before Thor had helped Loki off the ground.

"Would you like to see the gift I have from your grandmother?" Loki was pulled from his reminiscing to watch Thor riffling through the pocket of his cloak with one hand as he cradled the baby in the other arm. Loki covered his mouth to stifle a laugh when Thor revealed the 'gift'. It was a tiny version of Mjölnir, just the right size for a baby's hands. What would be stone on the real weapon looked to be simply smooth, grey leather, decorated with embroidered patterns and multicolored crystals, while the handle was covered with soft fur, dark brown in color. As Thor moved the toy back and forth, the crystals caught the evening light to cast it around in shimmering dots and the toy emitted a trill with each movement, high-pitched and soft so as to delight little ears. Svarti's violet eyes went wide and his mouth opened in what could only be awe before he reached out, cooing and eagerly grabbing at the toy as soon as it was within his reach.

"I'll have to thank mother for that next time she comes to visit," Loki smiled as the baby busied himself with his new discoveries, more than once putting the tiny hammer in his mouth as he learned each of the new textures, as well as the fascinating sound it made when he figured out how to shake it properly. "It seems she's created his new favorite toy."

"Indeed, I didn't expect him to be this thrilled," Thor nodded, laughing when the baby suddenly giggled with unabashed joy. Svarti turned his head to look at Loki, smiling as he shook the toy again, showing it off. Loki smiled in return.

"Yes, I see you," he cooed. "You're just having a grand time, aren't you?" Svarti giggled again before returning his attention to the toy, kicking his feet and babbling the way he always did when he was truly excited about something. Loki leaned his head on his hand as he watched the baby.

"I have a gift for you as well."

Loki propped his head up more to meet Thor's gaze. "You do?"

"The betrothal piece you requested, I have it for you now."

Loki's eyes widened a bit. Even though he'd asked for this gift, he was still inexplicably shocked to receive it. "Really?"

"Yes, really," Thor laughed a little. He got up to place Svarti in his cradle, since the baby obviously was having no trouble entertaining himself, before kneeling to pull a box out of the bag he'd been carrying. Loki raised an eyebrow at the impressive size.

"Well there's no wondering why it took four months to make," he chuckled, and Thor looked a bit sheepish.

"I wanted it to be unlike anything else," he explained, coming to sit in the chair next to Loki's. "I hope you won't find it too extravagant."

"You should know my healthy appreciation for finery by now," Loki smiled. He was surprised to find his heart pounding just the slightest bit faster in his eagerness to see Thor's gift. He gasped when Thor finally opening the box to reveal a necklace.

"By the gods, Thor…" he breathed. The neck was stunning, a collar style so it would sit at the base of the neck a spread out over his clavicle, shoulders, and the nape of his neck. Loki carefully reached to run his hands over what had to be hundreds if not thousands of tiny beads woven together, mostly gold and silver but intermixed was the occasional row of emeralds, sapphires, rubies or amethysts.

"Do you like it?"

"Like it?" Loki had to laugh breathlessly at Thor's uncertainty. "Thor, it's breathtaking. I love it." Thor's smile shone brighter than the necklace itself.

"Let me put it on you." Loki nodded at once, standing when Thor did and turning around to make things easier. He closed his eyes, as if waiting for a surprise. The simple tunic he wore exposed all of his neck and part of his shoulders so he felt it completely as the cool metal came to rest against his skin. The necklace was heavy, expectedly so, but the even distribution of the weight made it comfortable. Loki drew in a slow breath as he opened his eyes, one hand coming to rest gently over the delicate beads. He turned to Thor.

"So how do I look?"

"I think you said it best," Thor smiled as he cupped Loki's face with both hands to kiss him. "Breathtaking." Loki found a moment to grin before Thor kissed him again. Loki melted into him, his hands resting on Thor's shoulders as their bodies pressed together and he surprised himself when a small moan slipped out. He and Thor had not made love since the birth of their son, partially because Loki had still been recovering, but also because Svarti had proved a demanding baby of all hours; it was only very recently that he had begun to sleep through the night. But Loki could feel that his body had healed itself, and he was eager to bed his love once more. He had to pull away when he felt Thor's hands fall to his hips, trying to pull him closer.

"Not right now," he murmured, casting a glance over his shoulder at the cradle. "Later, when he's asleep."

"You mean that?"

Loki nodded. "Yes, why would you think that I don't?"

"It's just…we haven't in so long. Are you sure your body is healed?"

Loki raised an eyebrow. "You were the one trying to grind yourself against me and now you're so concerned?"

Thor winced a little. "Sorry, I was just caught up… You know I would have stopped at your request."

"And you did, thank you." Loki kissed Thor again quickly and smiled. Thor chuckled, bringing his hand up to stroke Loki's cheek. The dark-haired man felt his own markings under Thor's fingers and watched as fascination flitted in Thor's eyes once again. "You really do like them, don't you?"

Thor met Loki's gaze and nodded. "I do." Loki sighed. If Thor could accept this, maybe he could as well. He nodded in response.

"Thank you," he whispered. Thor just smiled.

xxxxxx

Later that evening, once the sun had set, Loki laid a now sleeping Svarti in his crib. He rested his hands on the side of the cradle to watch the baby's peaceful expression, and smiled when he felt Thor's solid arms wind around his waist.

"I have the loveliest family in all the nine realms," the blond murmured.

"I think I can agree with that," Loki chuckled, leaning his head back against Thor's shoulder. He smiled when he felt Thor's hand move his long, dark hair, exposing the pale skin it had been hiding. Loki had removed the necklace for now, giving Thor full access to his neck and shoulder, which the man readily took advantage of. He felt Thor's lips against his nape first and he closed his eyes as the kisses moved up the column of his neck.

"I finalized everything today," Thor whispered against Loki's skin. "We can be married within the month." Loki's eyes flew open and he whipped his head around to look at Thor, who gave only a perplexed smile. "Well that's not quite the reaction I expected."

"Sorry," Loki murmured. "I just didn't think…"

"Think what?"

Loki sighed. "I suppose I didn't think that it would actually happen."

"Well it will," Thor laughed, hugging Loki tighter for a moment. "So, do I get to call you my wife?"

Loki rolled his eyes and, after murmuring a quick spell to block any noise from reaching the baby's ears, turned to face Thor, sliding his arms around the taller man's neck. "I don't know about that," he grinned.

"I already call you the mother of our child," Thor offered.

"Well that is simply accurate based on anatomy," Loki shrugged, still smiling thoughtfully as he traced his hands down Thor's armor. "How about this," he smirked, looking up at Thor. "Officially, I'll be your husband, but when we're alone, you can call me your wife."

Thor grinned. "I can live with that." Loki chuckled in reply before pulling Thor down for a kiss, focusing on their contact and trying to ignore his racing heart. He had been considering Thor's request to see his jotunn form. It terrified him at first to think of the consequences, but when he remembered Thor's fascination with his markings, and the gentle reassurances that he wouldn't force Loki into anything, he began to think that maybe it wouldn't do so much harm. He broke the kiss gently, smiling up at Thor

"Let's go to bed," he murmured, his lips still brushing against Thor's. Thor grinned before easily scooping Loki up, causing a startled yelp form the man in his arms, and carrying him across the room to their bed. Loki sent Thor a disapproving look, but didn't struggle, and laughed when Thor dropped him on the bed. He did, however, stop Thor with a hand on the man's chest when he leaned in for a kiss. "I want you to close your eyes. I have a surprise for you now."

Thor narrowed his eyes a bit, but did as he was asked after a moment. Loki took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment as he let his clothes fade from his body, then lifted the enchantment completely, save for his eyes, which he allowed to remain their normal green color. He moved his hands up to cup Thor's face gently, and by Thor's smile knew that the man could sense the subtle change in his skin's temperature. Loki had cool skin compared to that of Asgardians, but without the enchantment the difference was even more pronounced.

"Can I open my eyes yet?" Thor asked, his eager curiosity clear in his voice.

"Yes," Loki's whisper came out far weaker than he had expected. His heart was racing once again; he'd never felt more exposed in his life. He bit his lip when Thor opened his eyes.

"Loki…" Thor breathed, his lips parted in amazement. His eyes moved up and down Loki's body as he leaned back to get a better look, which caused Loki to have to pull his hands back. They fell to his own chest as Loki's self-consciousness grew under Thor's burning gaze.

"Are you going to say anything?" His voice was thin and nervous. He just needed Thor to say something. Good, bad, anything was better than just—

"I don't know what to say." Loki was surprised when Thor laughed breathlessly, picking Loki's hands up and kissing them both. "You're beautiful, as you always are, but it's more than that. It's like I'm seeing you for the first time, and I can hardly believe it."

"I am still myself, you know." The statement sounded like a question, and Thor cupped Loki's face gently.

"Yes, you are," Thor reassured him. "And you still look like yourself, only the color has changed." He tilted his head as something dawned on him. "Except the color of your eyes."

Loki shrugged. "The red can be quite…unnerving. I didn't want to shock you."

"You won't shock me," Thor promised. "Show me, will you?" At the slightest sign of reluctance from Loki he added, "Please. I want to see you."

Loki sighed before closing his eyes and letting the last piece of the enchantment fall away. He opened his eyes slowly and stared up at Thor. The blond man sucked in a breath at the sight, utterly speechless. He had known the color to expect, but not the intensity. Loki's eyes seemed to almost glow in the dim light of their bedroom. And the contrast from his rich, azure skin made it unlike anything Thor had ever seen. He couldn't find the words to describe how incredible, how striking, breathtaking, and enthralling it was, but when he saw those lovely eyes suddenly fill with tears he knew he had been silent too long.

"You don't like it," Loki whimpered. He tried to pull away from Thor and let out a soft, pleading cry when he felt the larger man grab for him, holding him tightly. They struggled for a moment, but Loki still ended up in Thor's lap, facing away from him. "Thor, don't try to lie to me. I saw it. I saw it in your eyes. You don't like me like this."

"Loki, that is not what you saw," Thor insisted, holding Loki close against his body, though the smaller man considered it a small victory that he'd managed to tangle himself in the sheet, hiding much of his body from Thor. The blond made no move to uncover him, still speaking softly. "I'm sorry I only stared at you, I should not have, but it was not out of repulsion."

Loki only shook his head weakly, gripping the blanket tighter around his body. He had no desire to pull away from Thor, all he wanted was for the man to hold him, but he could not bear the thought of being lied to. He wanted Thor to love him, all of him, but how could he?

"Loki, please, look at me," Thor pleaded, stroking his hand through the thick, dark curls of Loki's hair as his love started to tremble in his arms. Thor was suddenly struck by the thought that he had never seen Loki so open and vulnerable. He bowed his head to kiss Loki's shoulder, murmuring against his skin. "Loki, I did not have the words to describe how I saw you. I have never seen anything like this—"

"Yes, you have!" Loki cried. "You have been to Jotunheim, you have seen the monsters that live there." Tears were flowing now and Loki whimpered again. "You just like it on me because I'm small enough to share your bed!"

"Loki, that is not true!" Loki was startled by what sounded like anger in Thor's voice, but when he quickly turned around he found only concern and hurt on Thor's face. The man sighed. "Do you really think so little of me?" Loki opened his mouth but nothing came out, so Thor continued. "I am not simply tolerating this form because I want to bed you. I like it," he shook his head, "I love it because it is a part of you, and I love you with all my heart."

Loki felt himself tremble at Thor's sincerity, and when he closed his eyes a tear slipped down each cheek. He bit his lip when he felt Thor cup his face and kiss his forehead tenderly.

"I'm sorry," he choked out. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry!" He wasn't sure what he was apologizing for. For saying cruel things to Thor, he supposed, when the man had done nothing but try to care for him, even though his efforts were sometimes less than effective. But as he started to weep anew it felt like he was saying even more than that. Thor just held Loki as he cried. He had become so accustomed to Loki's fits of emotion, his sudden anger followed by tearful reconciliations, that by now he was sure that nothing could phase him. Loki was so private, and so hated having to make himself vulnerable, that no matter how his emotions forced their way out Thor was willing to oblige them.

They stayed that way for a long time, Loki trembling and whimpering pathetically as he cried in Thor's arms. Thor only whispered praise, telling him how lovely he was in any form, but also how much more he was than just his appearance. He tried to find all the right words for all the reasons why he loved Loki that had nothing to do with his beauty. And even when he faltered in his eloquence Loki found a way to laugh through his tears, which now flowed out of something like relief, because he had so needed to hear all of the wonderful things Thor found to tell him. Finally he rested his head against Thor's shoulder.

"I cry to damned much," he laughed, wiping away some of the stray tears that were making his vision shimmer. Thor chuckled softly, but only kissed Loki's temple lightly. He knew that Loki had earned every moment of his crying, through experiences Thor couldn't imagine.

"That's quite alright, my love," he murmured, "as long as you allow me to kiss those tears away."

Loki laughed, looking up at Thor. "I like that idea." Thor smiled back and cupped Loki's face gently. He kissed Loki's forehead, lingering until Loki's eyes slipped shut, then proceeded to kiss his cheeks, feeling the delicate ridges under his lips. Loki just let out breathless sighed as he gave himself over to the new sensations. It was still unfamiliar, still frightening, but he trusted Thor. He always had. So he allowed his lover to lay him back against the soft furs on their bed and cover him with his comforting, warm weight.

Thor's kisses were slow and light as they covered Loki's skin and the dark-haired man began to moan without even realizing it at first. Thor could be many things as a lover: slow and teasing, rough and eager, but each time he was like this, so gentle and passionate, Loki never failed to fall a little more deeply in love with him. He always knew just when Loki needed to be loved like this too. The deep, lingering kisses and all-consuming touches always managed to come right when Loki was feeling uncertain about himself, their relationship, anything. Sometimes it was as little as the way Thor would rest his hand on Loki's neck and smile at him. Loki's worries would fade away at once and suddenly all would seem right with the world. Sometimes that feeling would fade more quickly than others, but each time it did, his lover was back to comfort him once more. When Loki was ready to talk, to tell Thor everything, he knew the man would be there, ready to hear him.

Loki wrapped his arms around Thor's neck to pull him up into a kiss as he let the blanket fall away, opening himself to his beloved. Despite everything they had been through, all the darkness and betrayal that had tried to poison their love, it was still more pure and true than anything Loki could have imagined. A love so rare, it wasn't even the kind they wrote stories about. They had everything that neither of them had ever dared dream they would.

And Loki knew now that this was all he'd ever needed. He may not be perfect, his darkness still haunted him, but with Thor's light, he was healing.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumble at moonsofavalon.tumblr.com!


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